my overall experience with photojournalism (kind of like if the instructions for the photo story assignment werent so limited and was an actual overview) (also things came up so i dont even know if im going to get my real photo story done tonight so im just gonna publish this immediately) (its what i wish was/could be my final anyways so you know push comes to shove it can be a REALLY REALLY BAD photo story)

to begin with, i just need to write this out because i feel ILL regarding this class. while i know that i will pass, i find it incredibly unlikely that i will get the credit, because i had put too much focus into my other classes. every aspect of life is a resource management game and i am REALLY BAD AT THOSE. rather than keeping everything balanced i scramble to fix one resource and the others then drop to severe levels. aspects of my own health, academic health included, are no exception. this class has only been evidence of that. so im sitting here, sunday of finals week, trying not to tweak because i have only proven to myself and my family that i am just as much of a disappointment, a goof up, as we've known — and tried to pretend otherwise — for the last seven years.

as previously mentioned, over the course of the term, i was not really able to focus much on this class. i prioritized my other classes because they were more intensive, more interesting, and in my mind, more important. to have to retake a biology class for a third time because i was busy taking pictures and interviewing people the second time around would have been blatantly embarrassing, after all.

this does not mean, of course, that i did not pay any attention. much of what i noticed left a bad enough taste in my mouth that it stuck with me for the entire term. the idea that i should interrupt someone in their tasks to ask if i could interview them, for example. or that i should take photos in public spaces without regard for whether or not the people in the pictures actually wanted to be photographed — both things that bother me to no end when they happen to me, so why would i want to inflict that upon another?

i came into this class already knowing that i was not interested in photojournalism, and my experience with it has only solidified that belief. i am still interested in photography, but i have never particularly cared for taking pictures of people, nor for writing out captions (nor anything else, quite frankly) that give any more information than necessary. at risk of sounding like an edgelord, i will say that i don't particularly care for people, and i am lucky enough to live in a beautiful area far enough away from town that i generally am able to avoid unwanted interaction. i would far rather capture the beautiful scenery that surrounds me than a person who i either do not know — nor care to know — or someone who i could simply go to see in person.

while i am now more confident in my ability to photograph people, it is not a skill that i particularly care about, in all honesty. i am simply glad that through it, i was able to have some good times talking with friends, and a good excuse to climb a tree or two.

and in all honesty? this post is far more meaningful than my photo story.